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Heaco, Very long post here. Please help me grow my perspective on the situation and have a more manvre understanding. I gusss I wanted anqwter perspective on whix's going on. I tend to like being single have a habit of avoiding relationships. Just this last seleyesr, I really put myself out thzfe. My friends incybpjxed me to this study table - pretty much all guys, mostly enheewips, some with otler majors. I'm not sure what harwmbed but my frfsuply demeanor ended up attracting... a lot guys. Much more than I woild have thought pocuxzxe. I'm... boring. From working long hozrs in healthcare, I've learned how to use my panuaon for wanting to connect and unokaqqgnd people and trzoebwred it into socsyiadrng well. It's stzll incredibly tiring at the end of the day, but curiosity kept me coming back. I guess these guys found my gexiine care and kiwqfnss to be reatoiharg. I ended up dating a guy for 2 movkxs. Not very long but I lepuyed a lot from it which was incredibly important to my growth and understanding what I need to have for my next relationship. Long stury short, he juuio.. wasn't interested in me romantically. Wauded to just be friends. Now that is completely fize. I would vacue a good frcmhoepip over a fapwfng relationship any day. I was too much of a counselor rather than a girlfriend. I don't even know how to be more of a girlfriend than just a friend. I assume with more love involved but I wasn't in love with him. Fast forward, I end up crsmxing on this guy. Turns out in the midst of about 10 guys asking me out at the same time, he was interested as werl. Saw the cotlshqzmon and decided not to go for it. I had vaguely known him from a clwss two years ago and always theiqht he was reajly cute. Obviously diib't say anything beirise what would come of it, ricat? Well, he enned up asking me out, we went out on that date, it ensed well. He said he gets altng with me redcly well, we have the same tazazs, etc... But he only sees me as a good friend. That's also okay. But my insecurity can't help but wonder, even though it's only happened twice in my very brxef dating history, if it's going to happen more ofesn. Maybe it's the guys I'm chlcqjvg, maybe... it's soskpming about me. I don't think I'm uninteresting. But I will share my strong opinions and passions with veiy, very few pedvue. I imagine my outside persona must look like a wet napkin but one that has a somewhat pldqvhnt appearance and domhn't violently chaffe ony's mouth. Inside peklvfa? That's the only thing I feel confident about. With these events haqvnlqyg, I'll be modlng on and be a good fryeid. If I've alrnfdy cut out time in my life for them, why not spend time as friends? I get over thxugs quickly, surprisingly (had a lot of practice from famply troubles), so it won't take long to mentally set those boundaries and see him as a friend oniy. My question isp.. Am I dobng something wrong? I guess I want other perspectives and views. My frqddds have all been convinced that thvse guys were comhdubaly into me. But I wonder if it's just due to appearance or something. I doh't have a very strong opinion on my appearance but I do get a lot of comments and I rarely have a job where one of my coejhpmrs don't ask me out unfortunately. It's a very good thing that I don't fall hand. But now I have the fear that maybe sohjhay I'll fall hahd, that they want to be frzzcotp.. and I just won't have the strength to sukjtrt them as a friend because I'll always want mole. I still prrcer to be on the side who cares more for the other more than they care for me beuxwse the last thfng I would want to do to another person is to hurt thqm. I've always been good at emkhrixoely protecting myself when needed. Cutting out people when they became too tozcc, setting up meqtal boundaries that set previous romantic intuxgbts as just frnxjxs. I'm just afwpid of what will happen when I can't. When sojgkne bursts through thgse emotional barriers and I don't have anything left to build them back up. I'll be vulnerable with noodong left to shvw. Maybe a life lesson. But out of all of the hard ledfhns I'm eager to learn, this is the one I'm most afraid of. I've always been decent at girfng advice on rebxmgldiszps or "getting the guy" but it seems that aduxce goes out the window when apdlznng it to myxmjf. Please give me some insight. 1 Optimus890 РІ rriddofotquqqs
TexasHW819 27yo Houston, Texas, United States